Tuesday, September 02, 2008
Dear Dalai Lama...
How's it going? Did you catch any of the Olympics? How about that women's beach volleyball, eh? I see Tibet didn't enter a team for that, probably due to the absence of beaches or shoreline of any description in Tibet, as well as the lack of political independence to enter their own teams.
Which brings me to my main point. As you know, I am increasingly supportive of your efforts to secure freedom from those nasty stinkin' commies. Over the weekend, I had a brainstorm about how you could achieve this in a completely non-violent manner.
It all revolves around the fact that, within Tibetan society, you are the legal reincarnation of every previous Dalai Lama. Now, I'm not going to get into any sort of philosophical argument about literal vs. figurative interpretations of the concept of reincarnation within Buddhism. What matters is by law the Dalai Lama is the legal heir to all previous Dalai Lama.
So here's how the plan goes:
1. Deposit $1,000 in a Swiss bank account.
2. Wait 200 years (approx. 3 lifetimes)
3. Use the accumulated compound interest to buy China.
Won't they have egg on their face!
Now, of course, there are potential pitfalls. There could be a catastrophic banking failure. Switzerland could get invaded. But it's not as though you are snoozing this whole time; in theory, you'll be on the job monitoring the plan the whole time except for a few of those interregnum years.
So, there's the plan. I urge you to get on it right away. For someone like you, 200 years probably goes by pretty quick. Remember that time you wanted to go meet Napoleon but you kept putting it off? I bet you wish you hadn't procrastinated now, eh?
Anyway, no need to thank me. I send this along just for the good karma.
Keep well.
Your friend,
Mentok the Mindtaker
posted by Mentok @ 10:29 a.m.,
3 Comments:
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At 5:27 p.m.,
FiL said...
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You forgot to account for inflation...
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At 6:14 p.m.,
Mentok said...
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No, I was just assuming an average 20% annual return, which my financial advisor Vinny assures me is entirely reasonable as long as all investments are in gold exploration penny stocks.
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At 3:46 p.m.,
said...
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do you think he reads your blog? ;-)
