Thursday, May 15, 2008
Talent Shows
I recently attended a business seminar about the changing workforce. Labour shortages, much younger and less experienced workforce, clash of cultures, yada yada. The presenter noted that old Boomer / Gen X employers might have difficulty dealing with the egalitarian attitudes of the so-called Gen Y workers. Gen Y, after all, is the "special" generation: from birth they have been drilled on the mantra that everyone is special, everyone's talents are equally valued and, at the end of the game, everybody gets a trophy for participating.
I saw a particularly painful example of this at my kids' school's annual talent night. It was an inclusive, unauditioned "talent" show that lasted two and a half hours. Fortunately, I had a good excuse not to stay until the end, but what I saw and heard about afterwards was bad enough.
Here are my observations:
- all parents think their kids are extremely talented. That's our job. Objectively, though, it's not true. Today's parents need to get a better grip on reality. Building self-esteem is one thing; building self-delusion is quite another.
- all such shows should come with a violins warning. Amateur violin playing surely must be the music of hell.
- for the record, Tae Kwon Do routines are not a talent.
- air guitar is not a talent.
- if you have a girl in dance classes or such like, go out and rent Little Miss Sunshine. Watch it. Twice. Think about it.
- skipping rope to Hannah Montana music also is not a talent, especially if you're not good at skipping rope. Plus, if there's anything that could give amateur violins a run for their money as the official theme music of hell, it's Hannah Montana music.
- did I mention that air guitar is not a talent?
I could go on, but I'm sure I'm coming across as too much of a bitter killjoy as it is.
Comments?
posted by Mentok @ 2:25 p.m.,
6 Comments:
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At 4:20 p.m.,
Library Mama said...
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As the one parent in our family who actually did stay until the bitter end of the aforementioned talent show, I wholeheartedly agree with this post.
I have one more thing to add, though. Clapping along to the music as "Little Miss Sunshine" dances or - as it may be - skips should also be outlawed, as it only encourages them.
There, Mentok, now you're not the only killjoy in the family. -
At 5:29 a.m.,
adam said...
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It is the case that everyone's child is apparently quite advanced for his or her age, which is quite something.
The talent show we have at school once a term provides a different problem - there are some pretty talented kids here and there are auditions and things first - but one of the things you always end up with are dance routines in the style of r&b videos by much too young teenagers - full of stuff that is simply not appropriate for schools, and I've just stopped going. -
At 6:40 p.m.,
FiL said...
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Unauditioned school talent shows? I think I'd rather go for a root canal. Or be flayed alive, rolled in sugar, and left out for the ants. Or listen to Celine Dion's entire back catalogue. Twice.
Funny you should post this right now; last week Dearest Daughter had the crushing disappointment of being told that the "dance routine" she and her friends had put together didn't pass muster for the annual school talent show. Her little Grade 3 world was ruined (for about five hours, then all was forgotten. But I digress.).
Thing is the girls do have the ability to put on a decent number, but they spent faar too much time talking about it and faaar too little time rehearsing. And on audition day, one of the gang decided she'd rather finish her pot noodle lunch than do the routine. Hopefully Daddy FiL's subsequent talk about learning from one's disappointments will have had some effect. But it probably won't.
Oh, and after the fact I found out they were planning to dance to Hannah Montana. So maybe they actually were OK, but the teacher mercifully decided the world didn't need another bunch of 8-year-olds cavorting onstage to mewling pap. -
At 9:26 a.m.,
Grumps said...
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Adam - I too am quite perturbed to see young girls bump and grinding to music at school talent shows. It's in poor taste and, worse, the music just plain sucks.
I'd much rather endure a hour of kids plunking pianos or plucking a guitar. At least it's a sign of talent and not just imitation. -
At 10:28 a.m.,
cchang said...
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I died laughing reading this post. I copy FILs sentiments however I think I'd go with the lobotomy vs. the root canal.
It is so true. all such shows should come with a violins warning. Amateur violin playing surely must be the music of hell. Word.
I will counter that doing tae kwon do form does constitute talent. It's sorta like dance, but of course, they have to be done correctly.
I, frankly, am sick and tired of parents who think their kids are talented because they can memorize song lyrics. Being able to belt out phrased makes a singer not. I'm also sick and tired of parents talking about how beautiful their kids are "she could be a model!" Yeah, well, it's your kid. Of course you're gonna think they're cute (as a side note, my mother is probably one of the few parents in the world who told everyone her baby, meaning me when I was born, was "disturbingly ugly") -
At 12:46 p.m.,
Mentok said...
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lm - thank you for helping me bear witness to this atrocity. I appreciate your support.
adam - couldn't agree more. See my note re. Little Miss Sunshine
fil - you have captured the torturous aspect of the show perfectly. As for your own daughter's disappointment, I think I can speak for my wife the teacher in remarking that it's so encouraging to see that there are still some mature, intelligent parents left in the world who are willing to let their children learn from their disappointments.
grumps - dance, as you well know, can be a talent too... as long as it's not something mechanical, learned by rote. Unfortunately, that's exactly what most of these dance schools produce.
cindy - thanks for your support re. violins... library mama thought I was too harsh on that score.
Tae Kwon Do, like all martial arts, can be a talent if performed like a dance. In fact, my son's dance class brings in kung fu teaches from time to time for this reason. But endless repetitions of roundhouse kicks and straight punches? That's no more a talent than if you brought in two kids to throw around a football or something.
I'll take it for granted that your mom has changed her opinion of your appearance! Honestly, newborns are usually rather alien looking; anyone who exclaims about their baby's beauty straight out of the chute is probably either hallucinating or fulfilling societal expectations.
