Wednesday, January 02, 2008
Ministry of Silly Walks
And we're back!
How was your holiday? Mine was exceptionally good. In fact, given how scroogey I was earlier in the season, my transformation as the holiday progressed was positively Dickensian. Among the reasons: just before the start of the break, my boss did something really nice for me; I had a couple surprise presents lined up that had their desired effects (it really is better to give than receive); and I gorged out on no less than three turkey suppers, including one I helped prepare with my favourite stocking stuffer, a new meat injector.
Da missus and I had a traditional New Year's: went out, got smashed (me not her) then nursed a traditional New Year's Day hangover while traditionally watching the Rose Bowl Parade.
I've always liked the Rose Bowl Parade. There's something very soothing about it. What struck me about it this year is what a tremendous example it is of nation-building.
Now, as you've read here before, I think that the whole idea of nationalism is a fraud. As much as I like my little country of Canada, I have no illusions that it or any other country has any sort of divine right to exist. The whole idea that you can find one easily identifiable set of traits to unify a whole bunch of people is patently absurd in my view.
Still, we live in the era of nation-states, so that's what we have to live with. Since the notion is so false, countries must work constantly to convince their subjects that this sense of "nation" exists.
America's job of spinning nationality is not unique in the world, but it is certainly one of the more complex examples. The powers-that-be in America must constantly convince people in Texas, Maine, California, New York City, Hawaii, Arkansas and Miami (to name but a few) that, somehow or other, they all belong to a single, unified community.
Rene Levesque, the deceased grand-daddy of Quebec separatist nationalism, used to say that Canadians and Americans weren't really nationalist but rather practiced mapism. We all believe we belong to the same country because we all have the same maps. But, as Levesque himself demonstrated, mapism isn't always enough to hold a country together.
In many countries - maybe most countries - unity is enforced through the barrel of a gun. Once upon a time this was true of America too. But these days, what do the Yanks use to promote unity? A big, kitschy parade!
Behold the Rose Bowl Parade and wonder. Cities, companies and other organizations invest millions to get those outrageous floats into the parade. But never mind that. The real nationalist strength of the parade is in the marching bands, those 200-300 member high school bands that the Yanks seem to do so well.
You have all these bands from all over the country that compete for the chance to get into the parade. The lucky ones then become completely consumed in preparation. For over a year in advance, the students, their schools, their parents, the whole community must focus relentlessly on rehearsals, fundraising and travel plans.
The patriotic programming goes even further once these impressionable teens get to the parade. Imagine how much partying goes on. For a couple of super-intense days, these kids get to encounter thousands of their peers from all over the country. How many of these band nerds get drunk or get laid for the first time at the parade? After just a couple of days like that, how could any of these ambitious young people ever feel any doubt about America or its grand purpose in the world?
Magnificent! And how effective. Thanks to this and other similar tools of soft-side unity propaganda, America hasn't had a serious separatist movement in over a century. How many other countries can say that? Are there any?
It's big and silly and garish, no doubt, but the world could learn a lot from the Rose Bowl Parade. If there were more parades like that and fewer Soviet/Chinese-style May Day parades, the world would be a better place, don't you think?
posted by Mentok @ 10:01 a.m.,
5 Comments:
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At 3:40 p.m.,
Rachel said...
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I am also fascinated by the Rose Bowl but now its whole affect has lost a bit of meaning for me I suppose I need to go in person and see them up close and personal. That would be a real treat...But yet at the end of the day I feel like you know they use all of these beautiful flowers to make these amazing floats for one freaking day I think I would just like to have a beautiful of garden of those flowers year round, that would be awesome!
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At 11:11 a.m.,
cchang said...
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meat injector?
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At 12:35 p.m.,
Mentok said...
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rachel - I hear what you're saying, but on the other hand there's a certain mandala-like quality to the whole thing: all this effort poured into an event meant only to be enjoyed for a moment and then discarded.
cindy - oh yeah meat injector, it's the best. Basically it's a big syringe. For turkeys, you use it to re-inject the fat back into the bird several times during cooking. You'll never have a dry turkey again! For other meats, you can use it to instant-marinade by pumping the marinade right into the meat rather than waiting for it to soak in. -
At 9:04 p.m.,
cchang said...
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But wouldn't the marinade only be concentrated in the injection site. Wow--such advances in technology!
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At 9:28 p.m.,
Mentok said...
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No, for two reasons. First, because the needle tip has multiple holes, so the marinade goes in several directions. And second because the meat is quite porous. After all, what is blood if not nature's marinade?
I don't know that it counts as an "advance" in technology, since I believe it was the Cajuns who came up with it and it probably started off as just a regular old syringe.
No offense to any Cajuns! I kid, I kid! I kid because I love!
