Wednesday, November 14, 2007
The Wind is a Nasty Bastard
I hate the cold.
No, really. I really effing hate the cold.
As you might guess, the winter winds blew into town today with all their usual sociopathic cruelty.
At this time of year, my one treasured time of day is when I'm in the shower. For those precious 15 minutes, I am really, truly warm. All the rest of the day, cold haunts me like a ghost reminding me of some past sin.
It's not as though I don't know how to cope. After all, I've been dealing with this all my life. I know all about the power of layering, the importance of keeping one's head covered, etc., etc. But none of it is quite good enough.
It's funny that I'm so attached to this corner of the world, because this is basically the Nation of Cold. Yet there seems to be some strange switch in my mind that shuts off whenever I start to think about going to live in a warmer clime. For some reason, I just can't imagine it.
And, of course, like anyone who endures extremes, I do so love to brag about it when I get the chance. When backpacking in Europe during my college years, I loved to strike fear and wonder into the hearts of Australians by trying to describe -40 C weather for them.
"It's like death! When you walk outdoors in minus 40 weather, you are instantly gripped by the certain knowledge of your own death if you are so foolish as to stand in one spot too long. It is a cold that stabs you through to your soul!"
The Aussie's soft, heat-pampered eyes would grow wide in terror. It was better than telling ghost stories.
Well, there's my rant for the day. How about you guys? Anyone else feel like bitching about the weather?
posted by Mentok @ 9:45 a.m.,
16 Comments:
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At 2:21 p.m.,
Library Mama said...
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Doesn't cuddling up under the covers with that special someone warm you up?
It helps me.
;-) -
At 3:17 p.m.,
said...
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yeah, mentok, that oughta rank at least as high as the shower! ;-)
i find that the older i get, the more the cold bothers me. i take sweaters with me into restaurants, just like an old person. my husband has this dream of retiring to vermont (he's a skier), but the more i think about spending the winters up there, the less appealing it is.
we had fog and dreariness today but warm temps--i'm actually looking forward to a little chill in the air. what i really want in a weather situation is to be able to have weeks at a time without either using the air conditioner or the heater--you know, be able to have the windows open. instead, we usually go straight from having to use one to the other.
there, did i bitch enough for you? : ) -
At 3:31 p.m.,
Mentok said...
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LM - "doesn't cuddling under the covers with that special someone warm you up?" Yes, but that only happens once or twice a month and it costs me at least $50 each time, even at the cheap motels.
Ha, ha, that's a joke honey. A joke. Please don't hurt me.
marcy - yeah, I'd say that's bitchy enough. Thanks so much for contributing. Retire to Vermont? Hell, why the half-measures? Why not retire to Alaska?
On another matter, here are some of the Google contextual ads that accompanied my email alerts of the above comments. I can assure you they did not make me feel any better:
Sponsored Links
Endless Hot Water
Shower as long as you like in the comfort of hot water in your RV
www.precisiontemp.com
Infrared Saunas Canada
Save up to 50%. Prices from $1399 Lifetime Warranty, Great Guarantee
www.SolarisSaunas.ca
IECex Certified Heaters
Thermal Electric can provide IECex certified hazardous area heaters!
www.thermalelectric.com.au
Notice that last link is from Australia. What do they need heaters for in Australia? -
At 12:08 p.m.,
Grumps said...
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The wind is a nasty bastard? I'm touched if you remember that was a line I came up with as a good Murray McLaughlin song title about 25 years ago!
As for the cold, I hate, hate, hate being cold. Outdoors is fine, you can put a jacket on, exercise, go inside or get in the car and crank up the heat. But I hate being cold inside especially at the office - I have a space heater that runs 11 months of the year because someone in the place has decided 18 (64) is the ideal temp in the winter, 15 (59) in the summer. As a protest I wear the rattiest, ugliest fleeces I own to work everyday.
Then some mook has the audacity to tell us we shouldn't be using the space heaters because they use too much electricity. Duh, if it were warm, I wouldn't need one. -
At 12:09 p.m.,
said...
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i remember when liz got a google ad thing for "how to let your internet friends know you've died" or something like that. makes me glad i don't have that service! god only knows what ads i'd generate.
doesn't it ever get cold in australia? maybe i should retire there! -
At 1:27 p.m.,
Mentok said...
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grumps - yes I have quite a clear memory of that line. It was a nasty cold night and we were walking across a wide open parking lot on the west side ... might have been that nightclub in the hotel or might have been the parking lot of our gaseous friend's place. The same night, I think, we came up with the line "Hot snot, it's cold!"
marcy - what's up with Liz anyway? Maybe she should have made use of one of those services.
I don't know if it gets cold in Australia. I doubt it gets really cold by our standards. I never got the sense from any of them that they even had a concept of what freezing temperatures were like.
They have their own line of bragging: how hot it gets. They love to regale people about how sometimes it gets so hot that things will just spontaneously burst into flames. I was as disbelieving of those stories as I'm sure they were of my minus 40 stories.
Kinda like Heat Miser and Cold Miser from that Santa movie Fil referenced the other day, eh? -
At 2:41 p.m.,
FiL said...
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I stopped bitching about the weather ever since I came to Vancouver. It could be minus a gazillion here with acid rain pelting down and I'd still love it.
But in England, sheesh...
I lived for four years in East Anglia where the winter winds were wicked. They'd start around the Urals, then blow unimpeded across Northern Europe and over the North Sea. By the time they reached us, they were knife-sharp and sliced right through you.
Then London. Yeuchhh. It rained gritty, grimy rain a whole bunch of the time. And summers? Usually we had a blast of infernal, suffocating heat for 3 weeks, then back to the aforementioned precipitation.
But you really should get a bit of counselling if you find yourself preferring 15 mins in the shower to a night under the duvet with your library mama... -
At 3:56 p.m.,
said...
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well, i don't think she's dead--maybe just really busy with her new job? i have a feeling her blog filled a big hole in her life for a while and now she's got bigger and better things in it, if you know what i mean. i did see her on the elbows forum not too long ago, though, so she's still lurking around somewhat. : )
re: the movie reference, well, i just don't get out much and so have no idea what he's referencing. how sad is that! maybe in six months when it comes to cable i'll get it.
i have a question--who lives where they love the weather? anybody? -
At 4:38 p.m.,
Mentok said...
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We'll have to wait hear from Cindy on this, but I think Texans, with that nice dry heat, are OK with their weather... as long as it doesn't get all hurricaney, I suppose.
And, as Fil suggests, you rarely hear weather complaints from people who live in Vancouver. People who visit Vancouver complain about the rain, but the locals seem OK with it. But that's probably because they're all on dope or mushrooms or something, the freakin' hippies.
But I hear what you're saying, grass always greener and all that. -
At 10:29 p.m.,
Natsthename said...
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Yeah, you can keep that damn Canadian air up there, ok? We were just had a 15 degree day today, but now the wind is blowing in the lovely Canadian air and we are going to hit -1 by tomorrow! (I know, I shouldn't complain, since you have it worse!)
Time to break out the parka! -
At 10:31 p.m.,
Natsthename said...
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Oh, and I had to use a Fahrenheit to Canadian converter to make my comment!
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At 6:18 a.m.,
adam said...
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long and amusing post about weather just got lost. Blah blah blah cold blah fucking heaters blah snow up to shoulders blah shorter then.
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At 9:54 a.m.,
Mentok said...
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Nat - yeah, it's hilarious how the American weathermen always call it "a Canadian cold front" and such. We get those same dramatic shifts and call it "an Arctic cold front". So blame Santa, not us ;-)
I was wondering for a minute there what scale you were using. Although I grew up with Fahrenheit, it's now like a foreign language I can no longer speak. Celcius is so easy for cold weather: Water freezes at zero. That's it! That's all you really need to remember.
Crash - I wish I could have seen the "long and amusing" version. No doubt the world is poorer for its absence. No wonder you picked the name "Crash" given how often that happens to your computer. -
At 4:24 a.m.,
adam said...
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Ouch.
The 'up to shoulders' bit concerns my past experience of winter on the canadian plains, but it was in 1974 and I was... -
At 5:43 p.m.,
Mentok said...
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Crash - you were on the Cdn prairies in 1974 ?! I remember that winter very well and I'm here to testify that you are not exaggerating in the slightest.
In my minds eye I can still see very plainly the snowbanks with car antennae sticking out of them.
We could build the best snow forts in those days; multi-chambered, furnished with lawn furniture, periscope ports. Quite comfy really. The stuff of sentimental Canadian childhood legend.
(BTW, sorry for the "ouch"; no offence, just joshing) -
At 4:19 p.m.,
Rick said...
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Just to be different, I LOVE the cold! Of course, I grew up in The South, and can't stand hot, humid, sultry days, when you can hear the sweat coming out of your pores, trickling down your neck, into your wet T-shirt.
It is true, however, that I don't like cold rain. 35 degree rain just sucks. Give me snow, at least, so i can stay dry and warm.
Therefore, the perfect winter weather would surely be temps in the 20's and a good healthy snow storm to reward you for putting on all those clothes. Add wind for a touch of excitement. Voila! Instant fun.
(I should add that I'm the kind of guy who still gets excited by the first snow, and feel compelled - nay, driven! - anytime the roads are covered to run out to the store for that dozen eggs or gallon of milk, just for the fun of driving to the store in the weather.)
