Tuesday, August 21, 2007
My New Love (I Feel So Guilty)
It's harvest time in my little vegetable garden. This is usually the time when my lady love Tomato and I frolic in our romance for one another.
Year in and year out, Tomato and I have enjoyed a new honeymoon every fall as we explore new dimensions to our relationship. Tomato, cucumber and basil sandwiches. Simple tomato and basil salads. Salsa. Pasta alla checca. Et cetera, et cetera.
From the simple to the exotic, there seemed no end to her homespun charms.
So why then have I gone so far astray this season?
Why have I barely looked at the bin of ripening tomatoes, beckoning to me in the kitchen?
Why have I taken up with that devil woman, Jalapeño?
Is it the danger, the excitement, the sense of the exotic? Is it just the novelty of the relationship?
I don't know, but I do know that I have totally lost my head over the sheer unbridled passion of this new relationship.
I eat the jalapeños raw, seeds and all, paying little heed to the consequences of my foolhardy appetites. I dice them up and sprinkle them on all sorts of other foods. I make jellies out of them, but even that doesn't satisfy me. I keep the left-over mash and juice from the jelly-making process and use them to make home-made hot sauces.
Naturally, this has put a strain on my family life. My kids don't like her. Even the dog turns up his nose at her. My wife has threatened to leave me if I don't stop brazenly cavorting with Jalapeño night after night.
But still I can't help myself. Even as I type this, my hands are burning, soaked through to the pores with her evil essence.
What can I do? How can I get myself back to the simpler, healthier charms of Tomato before it's too late?
Maybe a batch of salsa would help. Granted, it's a bit kinky, getting the two of them involved in the same dish. But at least it might help wean me off this dangerous obsession.
It's worth a try.
posted by Mentok @ 11:09 a.m.,
4 Comments:
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At 3:28 p.m.,
FiL said...
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Freak.
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At 5:19 p.m.,
Mentok said...
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DON'T JUDGE ME DAMN YOU! :-P
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At 11:04 a.m.,
Grumps said...
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Mentok:
I feel the same way about my new Imac with the Intel duo core processor and 20" widescreen monitor. -
At 9:28 p.m.,
cchang said...
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mmmmm. Tomatoes and jalapenos. Love...let it be an orgy with onion, cilantro, roasted chipotle en abodo and lime juice..perhaps a habanero? Yum Yum.
