Monday, May 28, 2007
Weird Dream
We're driving along on a big road trip, ourselves and another family. We have two vehicles, a van and a car. Mrs. Mentok and I are navigating in the lead car.
The radio keeps blaring this travel advisory that Plutonium Boy is in the vicinity.
We see Plutonium Boy off in the distance in front of us. He's over 40 feet tall, a glowing, vaguely humanoid mass of radioactive energy. He doesn't seem especially hostile, but you can never tell with these sorts of things, can you? But he's pretty far off and he's in front of us, so I'm not too worried.
Plutonium Boy has a military escort - a couple of helicopters and a few armoured personnel carriers - but they don't seem to be interfering with him or really doing anything to contain him. He's just lackadaisically weaving back and forth across the highway.
"Does somebody actually have a plan for dealing with this? They don't seem to be doing anything," I complain to Mrs. Mentok.
Mrs. Mentok, ever deferential to authority, assures me otherwise.
"I'm sure they know what they're doing," she says.
I decide to minimize any risk by taking a side "road", which turns out to be just a rough trail through a deep dark wood.
Suddenly in front of us appears a brilliant white stag. It seems to be surrounded by a white halo. Its big, complex antlers branch and rebranch many times to create many pencil-thin points, each of which seems to be tipped with a diamond. The stag's blue eyes shine with a faintly malevolent intelligence.
"Be careful," says Mrs. Mentok. "They tend to charge when they get upset."
The words are hardly out of her mouth when the stag does exactly that. Its antlers get thoroughly caught in my grill. I stop the car. The stag quickly disentangles himself and runs off.
'Chrissakes, does my insurance even cover this sort of thing?' I wonder
I decide to pull over to assess the damage. The van behind us pulls over as well. I didn't mean for this to be a major road-side break, but before I know it everyone has piled out of the vehicles. Worse, my oldest son, the teenager, manages to strew a bunch of the luggage all over the ground in his clumsy efforts to get out of the van.
'Oh, great', I think. 'That kid is such a slob. Now we're going to be held up if Plutonium Boy comes along.'
Well sure as shit. I look up and here comes Plutonium Boy tromping through the woods. Somehow we ended up in front of his path. He's headed at about a 45 degree angle north of our position, so we're still probably pretty safe, but he's a lot closer now so I'm pretty freaked out.
I start casting about for a good strategic position. The vehicles are not a good idea, because they're too close to PB's path and we won't be able to get them moving in time now. There's a farm house nearby but, as with the vehicles, I figure it's best not to be in a fixed location if PB goes nuts or anything.
Finally I settle on the nearby lake, which is surrounded by bushes. We can hide in the bushes, stay mobile and, if worse comes to worse, dive in the lake.
"Everybody, down here. Run to the lake."
I turn around and see everybody standing on the side of the road, transfixed by the horrible wonder of seeing Plutonium Boy up close.
"I said run to the lake, quick!"
Jee-suss! Why do I always have to repeat myself three times before these kids listen to me?
Labels: Had any weird dreams lately?
posted by Mentok @ 9:56 a.m.,
5 Comments:
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At 11:30 a.m.,
Bathroom Hippo said...
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That's some dream...
I had a dream that I had no arms, no legs, and that I was entered in an ass kicking competition.
I lost, of course... -
At 3:22 p.m.,
Natsthename said...
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"Why do I always have to repeat myself three times before these kids listen to me?" This is something I'm sure they learn in uterero, as part of Kid Training 100, their only required class. This is also where they learn to wipe sticky fingers on anything glass, climb up open drawers in the dresser, and stick things in electric sockets.
But, hey, that's some weird dream, man. -
At 9:09 a.m.,
FiL said...
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Only three times? Consider yourself lucky...
And I think your dream means that you are feeling incredible guilt and angst over someting that can only be cured by paying FiL $250,000. Happy to help out, if needed. -
At 9:29 a.m.,
Grumps said...
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Here's what it means: You've subconsciously realized that Al Gore is right about global warming and that nuclear is not an alternative. The only way to save the planet is to vote NDP.
Well, that's the way I see it. -
At 11:47 a.m.,
Mentok said...
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Hippo - that must have been a dream, because in real life it seems to me you do just fine in the ass-kicking department ;-)
Nat - yes, I remember the first time I spoke the quoted line, I thought "OMG, how did I suddenly turn into every other grumpy old dad in the world?" The experience of inattentive offspring does, in fact, seem universal.
Fil - I only said "three times" so as not to seem as though I was hyperbolizing. Yeah, it's usually more than three. Pay you $250,000? Why would I want to do that when we all know that everything you need to know about anything is in Wikipedia ;-)
Grumps - speaking of hyperbole: Al Gore. You notice in my dream that Plutonium Boy is a largely benign creature, just like nuclear ;-) And the only thing the NDP could save us from is excess personal income.
