Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Annus Horribilis
Just a quick post to share the fact that it's been a year since I quit smoking.
For the record, quitting smoking sucks.
Of course, I'm glad I did it on any number of levels. But it's very hard. One of the hardest addictions to beat, harder than beating heroin, I'm told.
The monkey on one's back grows to King Kong proportions pretty quickly. Since quitting, there hasn't been one day - not one stinkin' day - when I've been free of this very loud voice in my head screaming: "I WOULD FUCKING KILL SOMEBODY FOR A FUCKING CIGARRETTE RIGHT FUCKING NOW!"
But, I've resisted, mainly because I've been through this so many times before and know how slippery the slope gets if you give the Monkey any leeway. If you tell yourself "Oh, I'll just have this one cigarrette because I'm really stressed out", before you know it the Monkey will invent 20 occasions a day when you are "really stressed out."
The process is also a very empowering one. If I can beat this addiction, then I know I can change anything else in my life if I really want to.
One year and counting. Wish me luck.
posted by Mentok @ 2:53 p.m.,
5 Comments:
-
At 3:40 p.m.,
Library Mama said...
-
I'm very proud of you.
And I hope there isn't too much more about your life that you intend to change! -
At 4:36 p.m.,
FiL said...
-
Indeed, feed your addiction to Library Mama - that's one lumbar monkey worth keeping around!
My mother quit smoking cold-turkey back in 1980 after 35 years of 2 packs a day. She now opposes thje habit with unmitigated zeal. I admire her for her achievement, as I do you for yours!! -
At 7:51 a.m.,
Bathroom Hippo said...
-
Dude I told you, sun flower seeds.
Get a new addiction! -
At 7:48 p.m.,
said...
-
best thing i ever did was quit smoking. i had a slightly easier time of it, as i did it as soon as i found out i was pregnant with #1, and frankly in addition to knowing i had to do it for the baby, the thought of smoking made me sick to my stomach.
funny, though, sometimes even now when i'm out in a bar having a drink, i get an urge to light up--not a real strong one, but the thought crosses my mind nonetheless. it is one tenacious monkey, for sure.
congrats on your anniversary, and here's to many many more to come. : ) -
At 9:51 a.m.,
Mentok said...
-
LM - thanks honey, but the Monkey thinks you shouldn't be encouraging me. The Monkey tells me to tell you "smoking was interfering with my hunt for a new trophy wife. You should want me to smoke". ;-)
FiL - in all seriousness, yes LM is an addiction worth having. I'm impressed by your mom's accomplishment.
Hippo - I didn't even bother with a new addiction. I beat smoking but I'm still addicted to nicotine and use nicotine replacement therapy regularly.
marcy - congrats to you also. I hear stories all the time about people who feel horrible cravings 10, 20 years later. Like the lingo goes for other addictions, you're never an "ex-smoker" you're only a recovering smoker. thanks for your well wishes, sistah!
