Wednesday, November 01, 2006
Strange Names
Boy, did I have a mean candy hangover or what!
We had a great haul on Halloween night, but the cold cold wind nearly killed us. I am dreaming of the time when I can stay home on Halloween and work on a front-yard display. My long-time favourite notion has been to get a bunch of cheap shanks and soup bones from a butcher, wrap them in sleeves and legs of old costumes and pile them up by a sign that says "Unsuccessful Trick-or-Treaters". I've recently come up with a notion to kick that up a notch: move a barbecue to the front yard and start grilling up some of the shanks as the kids come up the walk.
But all of this lies several years in the future for me.
So, moving on to a new discussion topic: Weird names.
Happy and Blue 2, a reader at my wife's blog, recently commented that, at election time, he votes for people with the funniest names on the ballot, on the perfectly credible theory that people with funny names are hard workers.
I recently ran into a couple of people with strange and/or cool names, but I can't vouch for their work ethic.
At the Stones concert (ha ha tough luck Vancouver), I met a fellow named Mr. LeMauviel.
Now, isn't that a great name? Sounds like a James Bond villain's name, doesn't it? He claimed merely to be a real estate developer, but the artist conception of his condo development (printed proudly on his business card) looked very much like some sort of elaborate secret lair.
Just last week, while taking my vehicle into the shop, I met a gentleman with an even better name. A timid little old man approached the service desk to request a service appointment, of all things, to change a headlight on his van. His name:
John Cobra !
Only it wasn't spelled that way. C - O - B - R - O - U - G - H. He pronounced the letters very slowly and clearly, his voice dripping with annoyance at a lifetime of being jibed about his name.
Well, I tell you, if my name was John Cobra, I wouldn't be ashamed of it. In fact, I would revel in it. I would wear an eyepatch and get a snake tattoo. I would walk into parties with my head held high and say in a strong, clear voice:
"Hello, everyone. My name is John Cobra."
When I got old and needed my headlight fixed (assuming I didn't have minions to do that for me), I wouldn't creep timidly up to the snot-nosed punk at the service desk. I would stride in, look him square in the eye and say:
"Young man, I'm John Cobra and I require a mechanic."
That's what I would do.
On the other hand, if I had a name like Dick Assman (who got his fifteen minutes of fame on David Letterman) or Harry Reamsbottom (an honest-to-god real name in the local phone book), then I'd be thinking hard about changing my name.
Now it's your turn, dear readers. What are your favourite stories about weird, funny or cool names?
posted by Mentok @ 9:14 p.m.,
11 Comments:
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At 10:33 p.m.,
Suzan Abrams, email: suzanabrams@live.co.uk said...
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Hi Mentok,
Just reading this post convinces me that you across as a highly-creative person and with an ambitious adventurous streak to match. -
At 10:34 p.m.,
Suzan Abrams, email: suzanabrams@live.co.uk said...
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Sorry Mentok,
meant to say, "that you come across..." and not as written above. -
At 10:40 p.m.,
Mentok said...
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Why thank you very much Susan. That is high praise indeed.
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At 12:53 a.m.,
Rachel said...
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hehe
This is all very amusing to me...The bone decorations are a great idea. hehe
And funny names are always good for a chuckle.
I had a friend in high-school well more like Junior high/middle school/secondary school whatever...
His name was Jason Boner, poor guy. He took it well though, he accepted the fact that for the rest of his life people are going to refer to him as Boner.
My last name is German so it is funny to hear people butcher it all the time.
Feel better. :) -
At 7:08 a.m.,
Mentok said...
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Ach du lieber!
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At 7:20 a.m.,
said...
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Thanks for the link.
The names that stand out from my childhood were Dick and Bates.
The Dick's had a yard sign announcing they, The Dicks, lived in the neighborhood.
And the Bates kid always ended up with Master Bates.. -
At 7:26 a.m.,
said...
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Just toured around your blog. Wow..it's really good.
In case you were wondering, ha,ha.. -
At 1:24 p.m.,
Mentok said...
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Hey, happy and blue 2, thanks for stopping in. I don't know how we've avoided each other so far, but I'll work to correct that.
Yes, I know Bates who have that very problem.
Speaking of Dicks, one real-life name I've been hoping to find is Dick Wanker. I tried searching the British phone book, but there must be something wrong with the software, because it claims there are no Dick Wankers in Britain, which just can't be true. -
At 3:56 a.m.,
FiL said...
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Well, Dearest Wife gave up her surname when we married. Not because she was preparing to settle into a Betty Crocker existence, but due to the fact that her maiden name could be interpreted as something connected to the sex trade...
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At 8:22 a.m.,
Mentok said...
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What a co-inky-dink! Same story with my wife. Her maiden name suggests being proficient at a certain sex act. The advertising appeal of her former name was one of the reasons I started dating her in the first place ;-)
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At 1:39 p.m.,
Grumps said...
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I went to school with a gal who's name was Shirely Gross. She wasn't but I wonder if she married quickly.
I also had a friend in university who loved to introduce himself quickly as "Wayne Gretzky". People refused to believe him and would ask him to say it again, so he'd quickly state his name again. When they still refused to believe, he'd pull out his driver's license. It read "Duane Goretsky".
When I used to live in your town, Mentok, I had a friend who had an appointment with a surgeon. He went to the office and sat in the waiting room, waiting for his name to be called. After a long time, he approached the desk and asked what gives. They had no record of him at all. They were finally able to conclude he had gone to the wrong office. He was waiting to see Dr. Good when, all along, his appointment was with Dr. Best, who just happened to have an office down the hall on the same floor in the same building!
