Tuesday, October 03, 2006
Tyranny of Hotties
When I was a younger man, I used to have supreme contempt for middle-aged men who allowed themselves to be manipulated by cynical, black-hearted twenty-something hotties. Now that I'm over 40, however, I find myself pleasantly surprised by the maturity and wisdom of young women aged 19 to 25, especially those in the beverage service industry.
No, really, to be brutally honest, I'm appalled and a little resentful of the sheer cynicism displayed by many young women when they interact with men old enough to be their fathers. Let me give you a couple examples:
Last weekend, Mrs. Mentok and I were out at a popular bar we frequent. This waitress came up behind me, drew her nails across my back, swung her face around inches in front of mine and breathily asked "Hi! What can I get you?", whilst looking at me all googly eyed.
Right in front of my wife! Can you imagine if a male waiter acted that way?
(Yeah, of course I gave the girl a huge tip. What am I, a block of wood? )
And then there's the new receptionist at the business centre where I work. She looks and acts like a model. She's developed a routine of delivering job-security-enhancing flirtatious morning greetings. Her first week on the job, she did this bit where she would dip her head bashfully, bat her eyes upwards and say "Good morning Mentok" in an extremely sultry tone.
The first time she did this to me, I thought it was pretty cool; after I caught her doing it with every other guy on the floor, it just aggravated me.
But she's one step ahead of us on that score. See, she now varies her greetings so they don't become worn out. Her new one I call "Japanese school girl". When she sees her target, she sort of shrugs, averts her eyes, lashes all aflutter while saying "Good morning" in a geisha-like giggle.
I suppose I shouldn't complain, but there are things about these situations that bug me. First, I just don't like being manipulated. I'm realistic. These girls are for sure not interested in me that way. If some foolish guy ever let his guard down and actually reacted to such flirtations, he would automatically get reclassified as 'old creepy guy', and I'm not inclined to sacrifice my self-respect in that way.
So, all in all, it amounts to a big game of keep-away, which is just cruel. It would be like someone driving up to my house in a Mercedes-Benz convertible and yelling "Hey, wanna go for a ride? Well, you can't! Ha, ha!"
Not that I would want a Mercedes-Benz convertible anyway, because middle-aged guys in convertibles just look ridiculous if you ask me. My Toyota Corolla still looks good and it's engine still has many good years left in it, if you catch my meaning.
What do you think? Am I out to lunch on this? Anyone out there got any outrageous anecdotes about encounters with the Hottie Gestapo?
posted by Mentok @ 4:53 p.m.,
16 Comments:
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At 2:19 p.m.,
Bathroom Hippo said...
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Bill Clinton is full of them.
Stories that is...and sh*t. -
At 2:32 p.m.,
Tim Young said...
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So when are we going to hear you on the Contrast Podcast :)
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At 3:27 p.m.,
Mentok said...
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Hippo - You know, you are just playing into Clinton's "no such thing as bad press" agenda. Whatever else you can say about the guy, he knows how to stay in the public eye. These days he seems to get treated like an American equivalent of the 'Leader of the Official Opposition' role. Whatever he's doing is clearly working because he's got all his opponents talking about him.
Tim - wow, thanks for the invite. I'm deeply flattered, really - like I was just invited to sit at the cool kids table. ;-)
You'll have something from me soon...hope it measures up! -
At 10:36 p.m.,
Suzan Abrams, email: suzanabrams@live.co.uk said...
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I so agree with you Mentok, about Clinton. In many ways, even for ordinary situations, I wish I had his guts.
I guess the girls are just being friendly. Really, really friendly! -
At 8:49 a.m.,
Library Mama said...
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Menty, Menty, Menty....
Male waiting staff do things like that to me all the time. They're just careful not to do it in front of you. -
At 10:36 a.m.,
Mentok said...
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Susan - oh, don't get me wrong. I wasn't praising or expressing any sort of partisan support for Clinton. I was just saying he was succeeding in getting people talking about him.
LM - well, that's nice for you, honey. I think the thing I found most preposterous is that this bar doesn't run tabs, so this waitress could only count on getting tipped on a single set of drink orders. If $3 is her price for inappropriate touching, I wonder what the rest of her price list looks like. ;-) -
At 2:32 p.m.,
Bathroom Hippo said...
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Get a room you two! -
At 1:13 a.m.,
Rachel said...
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Oh dear, I would shoot myself if I had to witness this bullshit everyday.
Sorry, but I have no patience for women who would rather use their breasts instead of their brains...
Does she at least do her job?
Because we just got a new receptionist...Who spends more time flirting with any guy who is willing to give her the attention or talking on her cell phone when the men in the office are working...
But ummmm when I was a receptionist I needed to know how to put people on hold if the other lines were ringing, apparently this is too difficult for our new receptionist...*sigh* -
At 9:48 a.m.,
Mentok said...
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Rach - Although she had a shaky start, she actually is doing her job pretty well now.
In any case, we're in the midst of an acute labour shortage in this part of the world, so if someone actually shows up to work regularly and makes an attempt to do their job, you can't really ask more than that. (Our last receptionist was here a month before being head-hunted away by job offers she hadn't even applied for.)
So, since the new receptionist does her job fairly well, the flirtations are just gravy. The other day, some guy on the floor told her a joke and she exclaimed "Oh, you're bad!".
Girls, there's a dating tip for you: there are few phrases more pleasing to the male ear than "you're bad!"
Anywhoo, I shouldn't continue to talk about coworkers on a blog like this. This is all starting to sound too much like my nemisis, Chicago Daibh, whose blog is nothing but him whining about his coworkers. -
At 2:00 p.m.,
FiL said...
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Our receptionist is a jolly, hilaaarious, bespectacled man of about forty with spiky blond hair, so I'm spared these difficulties...
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At 2:15 p.m.,
Mentok said...
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Holy crap! Your receptionist is Elton John? Where the hell do you work, man?
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At 3:39 p.m.,
said...
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HEY! YOU TAKE THAT BACK MENTOK!
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At 3:50 p.m.,
Mentok said...
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Ha, ha, very funny Hippo. ;-)
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At 5:42 p.m.,
X said...
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I just realize that my office doesn't have any receptionist, but security guards......how unlucky am I??
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At 10:43 p.m.,
Mentok said...
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Are any of these security guards female? Do they carry night sticks? Do they keep their long hair tucked under their hats and then shake out a golden cascade of hair when they take their hats off? Do they have the power to order body searches to check for "concealed weapons"?
C'mon, X, you're just not using your imagination. Security guards have the potential to be way hotter than receptionists. ;-) -
At 4:50 p.m.,
X said...
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The problem is they're all male.
