Thursday, September 21, 2006
Foundations
I'm getting some minor foundation work done to my house. This is quite common where I live. In this city, talking about foundation repair is like talking about the weather.
The reason is that this city is built on a swamp. Literally. Yeah, just like that swamp king guy in Monty Python. Let me tell you the story, because it's a wonderful funny story of human hubris:
Founded over a century ago, the city was intended to be the new territorial (and later provincial) capital. It is not a natural city; no previous settlement existed, it was not the centre of any established trade routes and it was not near any significant body of water.
Three other sites were considered for the capital. All were situated in rolling valleys on the shores of some of the most gorgeous lake country in Western Canada. Everyone assumed the capital would go to one of these three spots, so speculators got busy driving up the prices of the land in these areas.
On the premise of saving the taxpayers money, the territorial governor at the time decided to go with a totally different location. Oh, and by the way, he personally owned most of the land in that area and had got it cheap. Oh, and by the way, it was a swamp...which presumably is why he got the land cheap.
So the territorial governor made a fortune, the dozens of other land speculators lost their shirts, and generations of city residents since have wasted their savings trying to keep homes afloat on top of a swamp...not to mention the billions of civic funds spent on heaving roads, ruptured water mains, water treatment (to make the swamp water drinkable, you know), pest control (swamps attract mosquitoes, you know) and a host of other problems.
You might think this is a story about some no-brain corrupt politician making a decision on the basis of expediency without proper advice. But guess what this governor did for a living before he got into politics: He was an engineer. He would have known how technically impractical it was to try to build any sort of permanent structure in this area, much less a whole city.
There is a street named after that territorial governor, but it is an ugly, run-down old street full of crime, drugs and poverty. A fitting tribute to the old bastard, don't you think?
The governor himself pissed away all his money and alienated all his political contacts. He died friendless, childless and poor. (If he hadn't, I would be thinking about suing his heirs for my foundation repairs.)
The saggy, smelly city he founded hasn't fared much better. Ever since its inception, this town has had a culture of government interference and corruption.
Funny, isn't it, how hard it is to outrun one's foundations.
p.s. I exaggerate. This town isn't so bad. With a lot of expense and some serious feats of engineering, they've actually managed to make parts of it quite nice.
posted by Mentok @ 9:56 a.m.,
2 Comments:
-
At 11:02 a.m.,
Bathroom Hippo said...
-
Hey you fixed it!
You owe me! -
At 11:06 a.m.,
Bathroom Hippo said...
-
My demands are simple, and I think you will find them reasonable:
#1. You must forsake Buddhism.
#2. You must now worship C.S. Lewis.
