Wednesday, August 09, 2006
Hezbollah Snubs Scharfstein-Olmert Wedding
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| Iranian President Ahmadinejad claims he's too busy to go to Olmert wedding, but is actually just watching a soccer game on TV. |
Before an audience of international journalists, key militia leaders ruthlessly ticked off "Will NOT be able to attend" on their invitations to Camilia's August 26 nuptials to Eugene Schafstein, a Jerusalem medical student specializing in dermatology.
The sheer cruelty of the attack was amplified by the fact that the Hezbollah reply was sent in a full three days after the RSVP deadline, meaning that the Israeli Prime Minister would be stuck with a catering surcharge ranging in the hundreds of dollars.
Hezbollah's latest offensive found quick support from Iran, who joined the foray by short-sheeting the young couple's gift registry.
"They had registered at Birks for a tea set that cost $200 per place setting. So we bought them one tea cup! Ha! Now, no one else is going to buy them anything from that set because it looks stupid buying 11 teacups. So now they will either have to spend over $2,200 of their own money to buy the rest of the set or they will have to throw out a $200 tea cup. In your face, Olmert!" said Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.
The senior Olmert reacted angrily to the news of the snubs.
"First suicide bombers, now this. The very thought of using a wedding gift registry as a weapon of war shows that our opponents lack ordinary human decency and simple good manners," said the Israeli PM.
In a related story, the President of Iran announced that the maverick nation had signed up for its own gift registry at Home Depot. Russia and China have gone together to buy the Iranians a nice patio set, but to date no one has signed up for the 20 kilogram bag of plutonium listed in the 'Home and Garden' section of Iran's registry.
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posted by Mentok @ 1:28 p.m.,
3 Comments:
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At 2:53 a.m.,
Bathroom Hippo said...
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Haha -
At 4:16 p.m.,
FiL said...
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Dang, that is just SO against the Geneva Convention.
"Laura, ring up that Coffee Anakin guy and fire up the Stealth bomber, willya? That Amadamadingdong's just gone one step too far..."
FiL -
At 8:21 p.m.,
jamwall said...
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dude, iran totally needs a new patio set.
can't blame them there.
