Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Rash of Copperfield Pregnancies Sweeps America
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| Pool guy Chavez witnessed Copperfield impregnating gold-digger |
Last week, Copperfield announced that his next major illusion would involve making a woman pregnant without physical contact.
Since then, scores of unexpectedly pregnant women have claimed Copperfield has already repeatedly performed the amazing stunt.
Mary Golding-Hutchings, a 25-year old resident of Beverly Hills is two months pregnant in spite of the fact that she and her husband, 57-year-old investment banker Gordon Hutchings have not had sex in over a year. In an event witnessed by pool maintenance man Rodrigo Chavez, Copperfield levitated above the couple's Beverly Hills home and chanted "Presto, Impregno!"
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| Teen swears illusionist knocked her up |
Parents of Betty McTaggart, a 16-year old Cleveland high school student who is three months pregnant, are asking police to arrest Copperfield for interfering with a minor. The illusionist allegedly visited a local mall where he spotted Ms. Mctaggart, waved his hand and shouted "Zap, you're pregnant!"
"Betty is a very honest girl, so if she says that's how it happened, then that's how it happened as far as we're concerned," said Betty's father.
In Florida, apparently on the same day as the McTaggart incident, Copperfield rang the door-bell of housewife Julie Simmons. The magician muttered "Abra-ka-pregno", turned tail and left.
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| Armstrong says he'll get magician for making his friend's wife pregnant |
"I've known both of them since college. Bob is my best buddy and Julie is a very beautiful, loving person. I am shocked that someone would come between a husband and wife like this. I will not rest until I see this Mr. Copperfield brought to justice," said Armstrong.
posted by Mentok @ 3:37 p.m.,
9 Comments:
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At 2:55 p.m.,
Bathroom Hippo said...
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Who the hell is Armstrong? -
At 9:40 p.m.,
mkecurler said...
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Shoot.... What will my hubby think!
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At 10:40 p.m.,
Bathroom Hippo said...
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Hahahaha.
David Copperfield tore Mentok a new one. -
At 10:43 p.m.,
jamwall said...
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now that copperfield's gonna be impregnating women, david blaine will be artificially inseminating jodie foster while he attempts to survive a week inside a gigantic turkey baster.
i'm stoked about the whole thing! -
At 6:42 a.m.,
Library Mama said...
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I have a question about Copperfield's original illusion (not all these other little accidental illusions to which Mentok refers).
How will the audience know that this woman has become pregnant? Does Copperfield plan to pull a dead rabbit out of his hat? -
At 12:07 p.m.,
Bathroom Hippo said...
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Probably pulls a broken condom out of the hat..
Well...that went against my religion.
hah. -
At 10:05 a.m.,
Library Mama said...
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Happy Father's Day, Mr. Copperfield!
Oh - and to you too, Mentok. ;) -
At 3:00 a.m.,
A. B. Chairiet said...
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Armstrong??
I think you stole my boyfriend. ;)
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Happy Father's Day, M!
Sorry it's late.
Hope you're well. :)
~ Ash -
At 7:35 a.m.,
Mentok said...
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Yes, Ash, the Armstrong picture is in fact a real life broadcaster from down your way. I wanted to use a pic of some slick, uber-handsome dude, the type who looked like he might be having a long-running affair with his best friend's wife. This guy's face just really seemed to fit the bill ;-)
Thanks for the Father's Day wishes. My own siblings forgot, so that was nice.
Hope you're well too ;-)
