Wednesday, May 03, 2006
Keef News Round-up
So, Keith Richards reportedly fell out of a coconut tree in Fiji and suffered a concussion.
There are a million jokes here. Headline writers around the world have snagged most of them already.
But here's my question...
If you are a doctor, how in hell could you diagnose Keith Richards with a concussion?
Here are some guidelines for diagnosis I found on a medical website:
Symptoms of a concussion include headache, dizziness, loss of consciousness, and a lump, cut, bruise or swelling on the head. Other signs are numbness, nausea, vomiting, mental confusion, or memory problems. The patient may feel tired, not see clearly, have incoherent or incomprehensible speech, ringing in the ears and have amnesia for the events just prior to the blow. The symptoms of a concussion may last several minutes to several hours, with more severe, longer-lasting symptoms indicating a more severe brain injury.Aside from the "lump, cut, bruise or swelling", all of this pretty much seems like SOP for Keith.
That aside, here is a selection of goofy headlines on the subject for your enjoyment:
Keith Richards Falls on His Coconut
KEEF'S OUT OF HIS TREE!
Keith Richards Has a Lovely Bunch of Coconuts
Richards needs hole drilled in head - report
Well, that's enough of that.
-MTMT
posted by Mentok @ 10:44 p.m.,
6 Comments:
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At 6:04 a.m.,
A. B. Chairiet said...
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He's disgusting!
And yes, I'm online. Don't hit me. ;)
Hope you're well.
Happy Thursday,
~ Ash -
At 10:26 a.m.,
Bathroom Hippo said...
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Women have nice coconuts. -
At 7:22 p.m.,
Bathroom Hippo said...
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"Chuck Norris once punched a woman in the vagina when she didn't give him correct change."
"When the boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris." -
At 9:10 p.m.,
mkecurler said...
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there's more to that story then they are telling you.
BTW amazon.ca would not ship to me.WTF -
At 9:45 p.m.,
Mentok said...
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Do tell, sabatkes. What else aren't they telling?
I read one story that suggested that the coconut tree bit was completely made up and that the silly old bugger concussed himself just falling out of a hammock. Another report suggested that the concussion never happened at all, that the whole thing was a publicity stunt designed to create the illusion that the Stones are still wild-men in spite of their advanced age.
Is there more juice?
(Personally, my suspicion is that he had a stroke but they don't want to say that since that would mean admitting that the Stones are old.)
That is very odd about amazon.ca. Did they give a reason? -
At 8:39 p.m.,
mkecurler said...
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Agreed, I'm thinking it was a big thing and they don't want us to know. Now he's in surgery?!! WTF.
They told me no shipping to the us. period. Maybe a disgruntled worker bee?
