Sunday, May 07, 2006
Brutal Clashes Break Out In Former Soviet Republic
Caucustan (FN) - Fashion has become the latest weapon in the strained relationship between Russia and the former Soviet republic of Caucustan as Moscow up the ante in its economic war against the fledgling democracy.
As in Ukraine and Georgia, Russia has been trying to reassert its influence over Caucustan by applying a series of economic pressure tactics. In February, Moscow turned off the taps of the republic's natural gas supplies. Last week, the Russians blockaded shipments of modern fashionable clothes to Caucustan.
In order to keep the population of approximately 5 million decently clothed, the Caucustanian government has been forced to draw on its garment reserves, composed mainly of Western fashions from the 1970s.
People in the Caucustanian capitol of Kaputzn lined up for hours to receive rations of yellow banana-pants, leisure suits and plaid blazers.
Reports have streamed in from throughout the country of outfits combining purple and green, the use of paisley in men's fashions and other attrocities.
"The Russians are trying to break our morale by forcing us to wear these ridiculous clothes. I mean, look at me, I look like Steve Martin's 'Wild and Crazy Guy'. How can the world allow this humanitarian disaster to continue?" asked one bystander.
A planned airlift of fashion supplies from Europe has been indefinitely delayed due to disagreements between French and Italian officials over a range of issues, including the overall colour theme and the selection of accessories.
posted by Mentok @ 11:10 p.m.,
7 Comments:
-
At 5:44 a.m.,
A. B. Chairiet said...
-
Ugly old clothes...
And Hi!
Hope you're well. :)
Happy Monday,
~ Ash -
At 1:04 p.m.,
Bathroom Hippo said...
-
Mr. Mentok,
Tear down those clothes! -
At 1:13 p.m.,
Princess Pessimism said...
-
EWWW banana color pants??? Those pants are Hideous. However, desperate times call for desperate measures. if that is all they have, then we have no right to make fun...
-
At 4:08 p.m.,
Library Mama said...
-
Is that your high school graduation suit in the picture, Mentok? ;)
-
At 4:31 p.m.,
Mentok said...
-
LM, you are very well aware that this is atrocious thing is not my high-school graduation suit. How can you even think that I'd wear something so awful?
No, my grad suit was a powder blue tuxedo with a navy blue cummerbund and a light blue ruffled shirt. The standard hair-style in our class was the mullet.
My classmates had not gotten the memo that the '70s was over. This was, after all, the town where I found the complete works of Elvis Costello in a remainder bin in the local record store, 'cuz none of those local plebs had ever heard of him. -
At 6:55 a.m.,
A. B. Chairiet said...
-
You and your Elvis Costello... ;)
Speaking of music: You asked me if The Guess Who played Going down to Saska-whatever.
They did, actually. And I thought of you!
Damn Canadians. ;)
Hope you're well. I'll write you back soon. I've been so busy trying to catch up with everyone, and, you know, running from tornadoes. ;)
I guessing you’re busy too, though. No new silliness for us yet.
Have a great weekend, Mentok! :)
Happy Friday,
~ Ash -
At 8:17 p.m.,
jamwall said...
-
there's tension in the small city of Cattur.
