Monday, May 29, 2006
Blog War Erupts In Iraq
Baghdad (FN) - The war in Iraq spilled over into a whole new front as American and insurgent forces exchanged a brutal barrage of attacks on the blogosphere.
Fighting began Saturday when an anonymous commenter left a post on the personal blog of Capt. James Patrick of the 445th Internet Affairs Battalion.
"Hey Yankee running dog..UR so GAY!!!!! There R no words for the gayness of your gayitude because you are so gay," read the message.
Patrick maintained an entrenched position behind the Battalion's firewall and returned fire against the unknown assailant.
"Hey towel-head, I screwed your mom last night. Ooo, she love me long time!" rejoined Patrick.
Fighting quickly spread to blogs throughout Iraq and the U.S. Through a series of hit-and-run sarcastic anonymous posts, insurgents rendered the main website of the U.S. occupying forces inoperative, forcing them to fall back to their back-up site, www.americarocksyourworld.blogspot.com.
U.S. forces engaged the insurgents on a number of Al Quaida and other known terrorist-friendly blogs. Using high-powered automatic email spamming engines, troops from the 445th quickly shut down most insurgent internet activity, forcing them to retreat to their last known outpost, www.binladenisthedude.blogspot.com.
General Myron Dooley, commander of the 445th reported Tuesday that fighting had largely subsided with only sporadic reports of profane "flame" messages coming from outlying areas.
"It appears the insurgents in those areas are dependent mainly on dial-up, so their attacks are now very slow and infrequent," Dooley said.
posted by Mentok @ 12:36 p.m.,
8 Comments:
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At 3:55 p.m.,
jamwall said...
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i love it when i'm able to do what you just did, marry two concepts with similar words. in this case, "war" & "blog war."
suddenly the story plays just like a story about a real military battle!
awesome! -
At 7:20 p.m.,
Bathroom Hippo said...
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The President has responded to the surprise attack:
"Alqaeda wishes to weaken our nation, but we must strengthen our resolve." Afterward he logged on binladenistheshit.blogspot.com and typed: "muhommad was raped by a fug ugly sand slave."
Our nation is secure. Thank you, Mr. President. -
At 7:41 a.m.,
Bathroom Hippo said...
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Heath Ledger just told me he got your letter...and your frozen sperm.
Payback is a biatch. -
At 11:51 a.m.,
Library Mama said...
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Hah!
I especially like
"maintained an entrenched position behind the Battalion's firewall"
and
"high-powered automatic email spamming engines".
:) -
At 8:39 p.m.,
mkecurler said...
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Ok, this was funny and the Gaza strip post was awesome!
Can you believe our highland games here does not have any info on curling. They never want us there. Bastards! -
At 10:11 p.m.,
:) said...
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hilarious!
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At 6:09 a.m.,
A. B. Chairiet said...
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Funny stuff, M. :)
Happy Wednesday!
~ Ash -
At 10:53 a.m.,
Library Mama said...
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Sorry, Heath.
His package is mine - all mine....
Mmuhahaha!
