Monday, March 20, 2006
School Board Policy Gets Nod From Evil Mastermind
Lakeland (FN) - The 2006-2007 budget for the Lakeland District School Board received an unexpected stamp of approval today from an evil mastermind plotting to take over the world.
Gerald Levine, a 38-year-old Lakeland accountant and self-described "Mighty Overlord of Humankind", issued a press release today endorsing the majority of the Board's budget and annual policy resolutions.
"Lakeland District School Board, you have pleased me very well with your budget. As you well know, the construction of my fearsome Mind-Control Beam is an expensive proposition. By keeping mill rates at a level affordable to middle-class families, you have performed a valuable service for the advancement of my devious plans. Muhaha!" Levine said.
Levine also had high praise for the board's 'Kids First' five-year capital investment plan.
"In order to create my Dark Army of World Domination, I must have a skilled workforce at my disposal. By holding the line on teachers' salaries and investing surplus funds into resources for students, you have shown obeisance to my terrible will."
Levine's commentary was not entirely without criticism, however.
"Administrative costs continue to rise. Why do you risk your lives by defying my repeated commands on this subject? Likewise, your decision not to require receipts for entertainment expenses below $20 is a fool-hardy act of insolence for which you will surely pay a great price."
Despite these harsh comments, Levine ended his statement on a high note.
"Lakeland District School Board, you have once again served me well. Rest tonight in the knowledge that I shall spare your lives for another day," Levine said.
posted by Mentok @ 2:35 a.m.,
8 Comments:
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At 1:09 a.m.,
X said...
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Mentok, you look scary in the pic!!
=)
dc -
At 5:17 a.m.,
A. B. Chairiet said...
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Ha.
Busted. ;)
Happy Monday,
~ Ash -
At 7:43 a.m.,
Mentok said...
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What are talking about, Dan? This is a picture of Gerald Levine, Mighty Overlord of Humankind. Didn't you read the story?
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At 10:00 a.m.,
Bathroom Hippo said...
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looks like Mentok was confronted by the Dark Lord of Conservativism.
Muhahaha -
At 10:26 p.m.,
mkecurler said...
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Sonds like you've been hanging way too much with Gyrobo!
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At 7:37 a.m.,
A. B. Chairiet said...
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(Sigh)
Why don't we talk anymore?
I miss having someone to fight with. :)
Happy Wednesday, and post something already! I'm tired of looking at your head. ;) -
At 11:14 a.m.,
X said...
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Hey Mentok, is that your other alias, "Mighty Overlord of Humankind"??
dc -
At 11:30 a.m.,
Mentok said...
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No, Dan, for the last time, Gerald Levine is the Mighty Overlord of Humankind. Is my name Gerald Levine? You know very well that it isn't.
;-)
But if you want to call me that, I won't object. One time on a campaign they asked me what sort of title I'd like to use. I said "Mighty Overlord", but instead they stuck me with the very boring-sounding "Director of Operations".
I hate when people play bait and switch like that. If they weren't going to listen to my opinion, why did they ask for it?
