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One Day Only!
Don't Miss This Once In a Lifetime Opportunity!
Wednesday March 8 at TCU Place in Saskatoon Saskatchewan.
World reknowned poon-hound Bill Clinton delivers his life-changing seminar:
HOW TO GET LAID IN TWO EASY STEPS
"My message to the men of North America is 'You can be getting laid whenever you want by any woman you want'. All you have to do is follow my simple two step plan," said Clinton.
"I used to be a regular guy, just like you. The girls called me pudgy. They called me a goofy hillbilly. But that all changed when I discovered my two-step method for bagging the babes."
"This isn't just some theory. This is a proven method. I have used these techniques myself and I know they work. If you follow my instructions in detail, they will work for you too," said Clinton.
Although the fine details of Clinton's revolutionary getting-laid plan are reserved for paying customers only, the man who has bagged such beauties as Belinda Stronach and Monica Lewinsky has offered to share the bold brush-strokes of his technique to the general public.
The Clinton Two-Step Plan To Getting Laid is:
1. Become President of a powerful country (the more powerful the better).
2. Hire slutty chicks to work for you.
"You might think that sounds too simple. You might ask 'Will women really fall for that?' I'm here to tell you 'Yes they do'. I know it sounds too easy, but believe me, follow those two simple steps and you'll be getting hummers under the desk before you know it."
"But the devil is in the details. Come out to my seminar and I'll explain the right way to carry out those two simple steps to guarantee you a lifetime of sexual splendor," said Clinton.
Tickets for the Clinton seminar can be purchased online by visiting the TCU Place website or by phoning the TCU Place box office at 1-800-970-7328
Breaking News! Second Date Added!
Regina (you know what that rhymes with) will have the chance to hear Mr. Clinton's life-changing speech on Tuesday March 7. Visit the Conexus Arts Centre website for more information.
posted by Mentok @ 11:17 a.m.,
6 Comments:
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At 7:00 p.m.,
Bathroom Hippo said...
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Seems all the time we hear Cindy Sheehan try to interrupt a Bush speech. I wonder what would happen if Lewinsky tried to interrupt a Clinton seminar?
Step 1: Get impeached to gain sympathy.
Step 2: Buy some cigars, you will need them! -
At 6:19 a.m.,
A. B. Chairiet said...
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Will you be attending this seminar? ;)
And what the hell does Regina rhyme with?? Nothing in my book!
You fancy Canadians...with your crazy pronunciations. ;)
As for Clinton: My dad HATES him. If you can believe that... ;)
Hope your well.
~ Ash -
At 9:20 a.m.,
Mentok said...
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No, I won't be attending, even though I was offered discount tickets. I can't look at Clinton the same anymore after seeing Primary Colors.
'Regina' rhymes with that special precious thing that, for some reason, women like to keep hidden away. That's right. Bone china.
It also rhymes with that thing that seizes men's hearts and which will kill them unless they can get control of it. That's right. Angina.
Regina also rhymes with that mysterious place that roughly half the world's population has easy access to and the other half curses it's tyrannical influence. That's right. Red China.
Sometimes I think we should have stuck with this place's original Indian name, Mignairydwat.
(Ha, now you'll be blushing, Ash, but you asked for it. ;-) -
At 6:49 p.m.,
Bathroom Hippo said...
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Ha!
I got it! -
At 5:19 a.m.,
A. B. Chairiet said...
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I love sax men too...
BUT, Regina, to me anyways, doesn't rhyme with any of those.
"Ra-gee-nuh"
Bet Clinton would agree. ;)
~ Ash
P.S. No, I'm not blushing, for once. I can't even figure that last one out... -
At 8:47 a.m.,
Mentok said...
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Yes, "Ra-gee-nuh" is the way to pronounce it that's closest to the original Latin and it's the way, I find, that Southerners always want to pronounce it.
The way the locals pronounce it, though, is:
Ree-Jii-nuh
As for explaining the "Indian name", I'm afraid that would make me blush. Perhaps Hippo could help out with this.
