Monday, December 19, 2005
Jesus Announces Giant Furniture Blow-Out
Ben-David and Sons, Israel's oldest furniture manufacturer and retailer, kicked off the Christmas season today by launching one of the largest sales events in the firm's 2,000 year history.
"It's my birthday, and I'm celebrating by offering our valued customers big savings on fine furniture. It's the second biggest sale we've ever had. I call it 'The Second Coming of Savings!'" said proprietor Jesus Ben-David.
Among the outstanding values offered:
- Kitchen nooks $100
- 5-piece Dining Room sets $175
- Microsuede living room set $700
Ben-David and Sons (originally Ben-David's Fabulous Furniture World) was established in 20 B.C. by Jesus's step-father, Joseph Ben-David and was managed by Jesus's brother James (aka "James the Righteous Retailer") until 62 A.D. Jesus maintains the "..and Sons" name for sentimental reasons.
posted by Mentok @ 10:04 p.m.,
5 Comments:
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At 6:25 a.m.,
A. B. Chairiet said...
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I suppose I could possibly be almost offended by this...but since you threw in the teeny tiny "advertisement" at the top, I guess I'll let it slide. ;)
And have you been watching "Squidbillies" or something?
It's a cartoon on Adultswim (in case you don't...) and in one episode, there's this Holy mattress store ran by this Baptist preacher or something. Pretty funny.
Oh, and Joseph's last name wasn't really Ben-David, was it? As a Christian, I should know such things, but I'm not a very good one, so I don't. ;)
Thanks for the blasphemous sillies,
~ Ash -
At 9:49 a.m.,
Mentok said...
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What's so blasphemous? The guy was a furniture maker in his day job.
I'm quite confident that even He would think this funny. Christians, I think, too often overlook that Jesus, when he wasn't busy saving the world and so forth, was a regular guy with a sense of humour.
Yes, his real last name was Ben-David (meaning "of the House of David"). You may remember that the prophecies foretelling Jesus birth said that the Messiah would be born of the House of David. Jews in that time period had tribal last names.
Ironic that I would know that while many Christians don't. Although I'm not a Christian, I think Jesus is a fascinating personality and I love reading about him. He was such a quirky, human character, in contrast to Buddha who became this cold, distant, Vulcan-like being after achieving Enlightenment. -
At 10:41 p.m.,
mkecurler said...
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Best blog post EVER!
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At 6:16 a.m.,
A. B. Chairiet said...
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The offensive/blasphemous part was in reference to the actually quoting him. That's the only thing that ever bothers me. Not too much, though...I just feel that if I say "this should offend me", then I don't have to feel guilty that it doesn't at all. ;)
And I agree about the sense of humor: I say this all the time. Growing up, I'd make a joke about something, and get in trouble. "But mom, God's has a great sense of humor! He's laughing too!"
You know they have to, or we'd all be struck dead by now.
And don't say it's ironic that you know this while many Christians don't. That's like rubbing salt in the wound for me. Like I should know it, but don't. Let's just say I signed a contract after only hearing half the deal. Some day I'll finish reading the fine print.
~ Ash
P.S. I spelled "humor" with a "U" both times just now. Damn Canadians... ;) -
At 5:18 p.m.,
NL-ExPatriate said...
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Fitting blog IMHO Mentok. like you said in comments he was a carpenter by trade.
Even if you don't believe you've got to admit he was a dam fine person, and well worth worshiping and following his teachings!
