Thursday, December 22, 2005
Canuck Swingers Appeal Naughty Status
Ottawa (FN) - Fresh from their victory in the Supreme Court of Canada, members of a Montreal swingers club have appealed to the North Pole to be taken off of Santa's naughty list.
Robert La Haye, lawyer for the "liberated couples" club L'Orage, urged Santa to take a harm-based approach to the definition of naughty.
"Telling your teacher the dog ate your homework: that's naughty. Refusing to eat your vegetables, this too is naughty. And, of course, calling your uncle Robert a disgusting, drunken old creep, that is very, very naughty. But orgies, threesomes, partner-swapping, voyeurism, S&M games, bisexuality, surely no reasonable person could call these things naughty by today's standard," La Haye said.
Club owner Jean-Paul Labaye called on Santa to restore deprived gifts to club members and to all Canadian swingers retroactive to 2000.
"It is just not fair that we should go without gifts at this time of year simply because of our choice to exercise our God-given right to engage in orgies. If you are going to call swinging naughty, then you might as well call oral sex or gay sex naughty. If that's the standard Mr. Claus wants to set, he might as well just give gifts to children, because I can't think of any adults who can live up to that standard," said Labaye.
Labaye's tactic appears to have backfired, however. Within hours of his press conference, Olaf Magnussen, Elder Elf and chief political liason for the North Pole issued a press release stating that "effective Christmas 2005, Santa Claus will, within the Dominion of Canada, deliver presents only to children under the age of 12, the mentally handicapped and Jason Kenney."
posted by Mentok @ 11:49 p.m.,
3 Comments:
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At 12:38 p.m.,
A. B. Chairiet said...
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Okay, who's Jason Kenney?
And am I on the naughty list? My new avatar seems to think I should be.
But I’m not fancy enough to be Canadian, so who the hell even cares. ;)
~ Ash -
At 10:02 p.m.,
Mentok said...
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Yak, I hope you got your nipple clamps, Santa or no. I won't touch the butt plug.
Ash, I don't think there is much question that you are definitely naughty.
Jason Kenney is the Canadian 40 yr old Virgin previously mocked on October 19. -
At 9:27 p.m.,
NL-ExPatriate said...
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Thanks for the link I forgot about Kenny.
Stole my line there Harry with the nipple clamps. As with MMT Iwou't touch that butt plub line.
What about the gerbalers and felchers are they still considered naughty?
Nother G1 MMT
