Tuesday, November 15, 2005
Sony Announces New TV Standard
Los Angeles (FN) - The Sony Corporation today jumped into the fray of new television formats with the announcement of their new enhanced video system, dubbed SuckerVision.
Company spokesman Gerry Duarf asserted that the new system is "way, way better" than previous TV advances.
"I can say without a word of hyperbole that our system is a million times better than HDTV, widescreen and flatscreen combined," Duarf said.
Duarf bridled at suggestions that the name of the product referred to the consumers Sony is targeting with the product.
SuckerVision (right) vs. conventional HDTV
SuckerVision (right) vs. conventional HDTV"The name absolutely does not refer to the consumer, I swear to God. It comes from the technical system used to generate the high resolution images. The system, um, sucks tachyon-charged plasma from the warp-coil and routes it in a feedback loop through the deflector array," said Duarf.
Duarf rejected accusations that Sony's alleged system was nothing more than a string of nonsensical Star Trek-style techno-babble.
"Whenever there is a new innovation, there are cynics and luddites who resist it. We stand by the quality of our new TV standard. I mean, just look at it. You would have to be an idiot not to be able to tell that this is way, way better than HDTV."
Sony will begin marketing the new standard in early 2007. TV sets capable of receiving the SuckerVision signals will start at $20,000 US, although Sony will also be offering $10,000 adapter packages to allow existing HD and conventional TV owners to receive SuckerVision signals.
Sony estimates that it will cost several billions of dollars for cable and satellite providers to upgrade to the special "warp necelles" required to transmit the SuckerVision signal.
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posted by Mentok @ 10:54 a.m.,
