Friday, November 25, 2005
Newfoundland Rocked By Employment Crisis
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| Officials confirmed former Premier Joey Smallwood's body did, in fact, turn over in his grave at news of record-high employment levels. |
Statistics Canada labour force figures released Thursday show the province's unemployment rate in November was 10.2 per cent, the lowest level recorded since Viking times.
Experts believe if the employment numbers are sustained it will cause widespread disruption in the lifestyle of Newfoundlanders and Labradorians.
"Without sufficient free time at our disposal, our cultural industries will shrivel and die. The crappy tourist knick-knacks industry will be the first to go, but the fiddlin' and jiggin' won't be far behind it. I wouldn't even want to imagine what it will do liquor sales and the hospitality industry," said Andrew Rideout, professor emeritus in the Department of Economics at Memorial University of Newfoundland (MUN).
"Lord thunderin' Jesus! I forgot all about the MUN. Our dear beloved MUN will be like a ghost town if our students start finding actual jobs," Rideout added.
Premier Danny Williams was quick to point the finger of blame for the looming crisis.
"This is yet another example of the federal government screwing us over. If they hadn't ruined the cod fishery, at least we would still have seasonal unemployment to fall back on. Without the cod, Newfoundlanders have been forced into the humiliation of full-time employment," Williams said.
Until the province's employment crisis is resolved, Williams has ordered all provincial civil servants not to sing O Canada but only to murmur along with the tune, except for the French bits which will be mouthed entirely silently.
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Disclaimer: I love Newfoundland, Newfoundlanders and everything about them. I've already hit Arkansans, Quebecois, Albertans, French, Irish, Liberals, Tories and a bunch of others, so it was just your turn is all. What's the expression...'I'm just playing the gladger' or something like that.
-MTMT
-MTMT
posted by Mentok @ 9:30 p.m.,
2 Comments:
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At 10:25 p.m.,
Mentok said...
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Newfoundlanders are the funniest, most generous, most warm-hearted and talented people in the world. Unfortunately, they are also among the poorest and most chronically unemployed jurisdictions in North America. Their traditional fishing industy was wiped out by the federal government's failure to block foreign fishing and enact proper conservation policies. The current Premier recently protested a federal disagreement by taking down all the Canadian flags from public buildings.
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At 3:46 p.m.,
NL-ExPatriate said...
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LOL
I recently saw someones nick as Newfoundland and Labrador Economic refugee!
