Saturday, November 05, 2005
French Fail To Surrender
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| French President Jacques Chirac leads the National Assembly in a desperate effort to surrender to someone. |
"It is outrageous! A scandal! These rioters are threatening four generations of established French military policy by creating this non-surrenderable situation," said deputy defence minister Serge Lapointe.
Witnesses at the riot scenes report incidents of senior French military officers flapping their hands vigorously, squealing like young girls and fainting, apparently in shock at the prospect of engaging in actual fighting.
"Our men are not trained for this. They have done their best to wave white flags at the rioters, but it seems to have no effect on these beasts. This is an insult to the entire French nation," said Colonel Henri Pierre Pepin.
Historic precedent offers little relief for the beleagured French troops, says Professeur Jean Saint-Gelais of the Academie du Preneur d'esprit.
"It was much easier in the 19th Century and former times. Then, we were a monarchy, so if you had a riot, at least the king could surrender. But in a democracy that is ruled by the people, how can the people surrender to the people? It is, as we say in French, un champ d'avoine."
posted by Mentok @ 1:42 a.m.,
4 Comments:
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At 7:37 p.m.,
mkecurler said...
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wild times, 'eh?
Thanks for stopping by!
Smoking at curling clubs are a rare find in the states. There are many that are non smoking. Whatever! If someone needs a ciggie while curling, I don't see an issue with it. I don't smoke, but why should I care if someone wants to smoke on the ice! -
At 10:13 p.m.,
NL-ExPatriate said...
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LOL
I did UN tours with the French. They dam near started the wars all over again with their arrogance.
Feed them Cake! -
At 12:02 a.m.,
Mentok said...
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Now that we're four days out from this post, it's time for me to let you all in on a self-indulgent little secret.
I sometimes hide really obscure, really lame jokes within stories. Maybe someday I'll start offering prizes to people who spot them.
In this story:
"Academie du Preneur d'esprit" means "Academy of the Mind-taker".
"Un champs d'avoine" means "a field of oats." Complete nonsense, has no connection whatsoever to what the character is talking about. But it sounds meaningful because it's written in a foreign language.
I'm thinking of expanding the repetoire to include backwards writing and such, just for the extra fun factor. I would take an entirely cruel delight in imagining people trying to read my posts backwards.
But maybe that's bad karma. Haven't decided. My evil would be repaid at some point. Reviled, I live on. -
At 2:04 a.m.,
said...
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Another anti-French asshole. Glad your blog is deader than a doornail.
