Wednesday, November 09, 2005
Arkansas Gov To Push 'Guzintas'
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| Arkansas Gov. Huckabee (right) sets sights on math enrichment. |
Huckabee said that he would like to see guzintas awareness become a state-wide activity, in the same way that former governor and former President Bill Clinton's now-legendary times-bys program captured the state's imagination.
"There is not much that former Governor Clinton and I agree on, but I give him credit for The Great Arkansas Times-Bys Challenge," Huckabee said. [see sidebar]
| Governor Clinton's Great Arkansas Times-Bys Challenge |
| "Billy's family wants to go to a peanut boil 26 miles away. Billy has 4 brothers, 3 sisters and 26 cousins, all of whom have 6 children. All together, the family has 102 dogs, of which 47 are bitches, all of whom are pregnant. The family has 5 trucks between them. If welfare checks come out on Wednesday and the peanut boil is on Saturday, how many of Billy's family will make it to the peanut boil?" |
To craft his guzintas challenge, Governor Huckabee will be drawing on the skills of Professor Michael Cash, head of the University of Arkansas Department of Ciphering and Figuring.
"Many Arkansans are unaware of the importance of guzintas in their daily lives. For example, suppose you have a gallon of some sort of medicinal liquid and you want to siphon it off into 12 ounce bottles. How many bottles can you get? Sure, you can try to dope it out using your times-bys, but guzintas make it much quicker," said Professor Cash.
"Give you another example. Suppose you're at the video store and you have a $20 bill. Well, how many copies of The Dukes of Hazzard can you rent? With guzintas, you can figure that out right away," Cash added.
posted by Mentok @ 10:55 a.m.,
3 Comments:
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At 12:14 p.m.,
Mentok said...
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This bit is specially for our regular reader Ash Chairiet, who lives in Arkansas and apparently has some sort of job working with numbers.
Don't ask me what a peanut boil is. I have no idea. According to the U.S. Ambassador to Canada, no on in Canada does.
Political Correctness Disclaimer: I've never been to Arkansas. I'm sure it's a nice place. I've never met an Arkansan in person and I'm sure all the stereotypes about them are wildly exaggerated. I've always had a sort of grudging respect for former President Clinton and I enjoy the odd Johny Cash tune. -
At 7:03 a.m.,
A. B. Chairiet said...
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Wow...After you made mention of Arkansas and numbers elsewhere, I thought I better check in before it was too late! ;)
The Clinton equation? The answer is all of them. Put out those free nuts and rednecks come 'a runnin!
But Huckabee? He probably can't even add...Except calories and votes.
(Because he lost a lot of weight and he's a crafty republican)
Why do I feel like you and I are the only two laughing at this one, Mentok?? ;)
But seriously: Don't worry about your PC status. Arkansas is full of idiots: We're all related. We're all extremely uneducated. We're all unhealthy and full of moonshine...And I can't do math to save my life!
Or to rent the Duke's of Hazard. ;)
But thank you so much for the laughs. :)
I'm off to be pretentious...
~ Ash
P.S. As I've said, I'm not exactly sure what a peanut boil is...I think that's probably a little more prevalent over there in Georgia or something. BUT, every year, right down the dirt road, they throw a HUGE crawfish boil.
And do I ever attend?
Yeah...Right. The cousin I slept with takes me in his Ford.
Or is it a Chevy??
Them are fightin' words, Ashley Chairiet, you fancy booklearning ' Yankee-lover!!
(I'll stop now... :) ) -
At 6:55 p.m.,
said...
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