Monday, October 31, 2005
And Now A Public Service Message...
Dear Federal Candidate:
In the build-up to the next federal election campaign, we are hearing a great deal about the rights of the unborn, but nothing about the rights of the undead.
We are Campaign Un-Life 
Sadly, in addition to their ailments, the undead suffer ostracism, prejudice and low self-esteem brought on by centuries of superstition about these conditions. This is a national tragedy.
Many politicians assume that the undead constitute only a small minority. This is not true. Undead issues have the potential to affect all Canadians. While it is estimated that only 1 in 100,000 Canadians currently suffer from undead illnesses, medical research shows that a staggering 100% of Canadians will contract death, the pre-condition for undeath. Since the majority of these potential undeath sufferers are voters, the political system can no longer afford to ignore this important constituency.
As part of our long-term strategic communications plan, Campaign Un-Life has targeted three key issues for discussion in the upcoming federal election:
1. Hate Crimes Legislation - Canada's hate crime legislation represents 
one of the triumphs of our caring and tolerant society. A range of groups, including religious and visible minorities, are protected by this legislation. Most recently, sexual preference has fallen under the protection of this legislation.
2. Voting Rights - While Canadian courts have recently extended the vote to federal inmates, the undead continue to be disenfranchised.
Federal electoral legislation sets arbitrary medical preconditions for voting (i.e. that the voter be living) which appear to be almost specifically targeted to exclude the undead. The fact that undead Canadians retain full cognitive abilities - more so, in fact, than many living voters - has been consistently ignored by Elections Canada and the courts.
 |
| It doesn't take too many "Brains!" to see that the undead have rights too. |
Further, current electoral legislation displays bias against the undead's physical handicaps so that, even if they had the vote, they would not be able to exercise it. Federal voting hours during most of the year fall during daylight hours, which represents a severe health hazard for many of the undead. While the federal government has made great strides to accomodate the needs of those with other physical handicaps, the needs of the undead continue to be marginalized.
3. Access To Blood and Organ Donation -Many undead conditions require an almost daily supply of donated blood as part of their treatment. Others require the donation of organs, such as brains.
Canadian Blood Services has consistently refused to provide blood to undead clients. Health services in every province likewise refuse to place undead patients on the list for organ donations. Could you imagine the uproar if native Canadians or hemophiliacs were barred from receiving certain medical services? Yet for the undead this sort of institutionalized genocide is a part of their daily lives.
If you would like to learn more about these important issues, we would be pleased to send you an information kit. Please call our national office between the hours of
Thank you in advance for your consideration and cooperation.
Ivan Phillip Fraeghly
Executive Director
Campaign Un-Life
posted by Mentok @ 12:38 p.m.,
2 Comments:
-
At 8:22 a.m.,
A. B. Chairiet said...
-
What a well-written piece...
...Blah, blah, blah...
...I like the sad little vampire the best.
"Mmm...Sad."
Here's to being undead,
~Ash -
At 10:37 p.m.,
NL-ExPatriate said...
-
Dam it man your killing me here. Pun intended.
Does MAd magazine have a editorial section?
